As a Borders bookseller during the aughts, I often heard customers make this confession: "I hate the book (or books) I am currently reading. But because I started this read, I feel I must plod on until I finish." I have heard friends comment quietly that "My marriage is a mess. But I have put the best years of my life into it, and I'm going to see it through." In professional situations, people say, "I get a great salary and spent years in competitive higher education preparing for it. I hate my job but don't know how to escape it. What else would I do?"
All spiritual directors and companions listen as clients state that they feel boxed in by doctrines and religious structures that used to make sense but have lost all meaning as they have aged. The stakes in these different scenarios of "stuckness" might range from negligible (so what if you do or don't finish that book?) to life-changing: a new job, a new partner, a new faith, or spiritual structure. Recently I discovered a business term that describes this kind of rut in commerce and profit-making. It is called "Sunk Cost Fallacy." Lindsay Kramer wrote for Grammarly (August 25, 2022): "The sunk cost fallacy is a logical fallacy that entails sticking with losing or failed venture because you've already invested a significant amount of time, money, or other resources that you can't get back. It hinges on the idea that because you've already incurred costs, you need to stick with the endeavor to 'get your money's worth.'" We all struggle with our own personal and unique Sunk Cost Fallacies. As people rehearse their stories of the rut or the stuck place, sometimes they see an opening or a ray of light. As they share these stories, new frames of reference emerge that help them to comprehend how they might leave the Sunk Cost Fallacy behind. Often this is very practical: making plans and strategies, and sometimes it is more spontaneous. The Spirit moves in all cases of venturing beyond the ruts and the stuck places. As a spiritual director, I am deeply privileged to witness this process first-hand. What are your Sunk Cost Fallacies? --September 7, 2022
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March 2023
AuthorDan Hoffman is an Indianapolis USA based spiritual director, supervisor of spiritual directors, and workshop/retreat leader. This occasional blog discusses things he is thinking about and wants to share. Comments are always welcome. |